So I was chatting to a lovely friend yesterday - who I have only known for a few months, but very much like, and I realised, reflecting on the conversation later, that this behaviour of mine , may be strange in some way...
We were talking about accommodation and I was saying how I cannot stay anywhere with a doona cover/ quilt/ bedspread that I don't like - like this:
I could not stay in this hotel because I would be so offended by the ugliness of this bed cover that it would impact on my time on holidays. That's not to say we haven't stayed in ugly places- we have but I always find it a little ghastly... I have also been known to temporarily remove paintings from walls in hotels that I find offensive. Is this normal?
I am obsessively open and close windows when driving ( this driving Chef absolutely mad with what he refers to as fidgeting), this behaviour I refer to as an obsessive need to control my external environment... again, making it pleasing to me...Normal?
When we moved into our house 6 years ago the colour scheme of yellow, with an apricot feature wall was seriously impacting on my mental well- being. Chef couldn't understand the need to paint (we had no toilet at the time- so priorities were different) but it was absolutely driving me to distraction. When we did paint ( Antique White USA) I seriously felt like I had won lotto and moved into my dream home.
my house doesn't really look like this -image from here
I watch SBS News because they employ real journalists and there is no tabloid crap... But I cannot deny that I love Janice Petersons' clothes choices and jewellery- she always looks fabulous, and if I want to be honest with myself I KNOW that is part of the appeal of watching the news ( my own little game of "what will Janice be wearing tonight?") Normal?
I really love beautiful things, I love to look at them , surround myself with them and when they aren't around I like to talk about them. They don't have to be new things - in fact they usually aren't...If I see a painting I like I can think of nothing else for days and have to go and look at it repeatedly- (generally can't afford to buy it) and I am excited by seeing something I love that much...This perhaps makes me sound really shallow and materialistic - which I know I am not- we live pretty simply and we only recently (thanks K. Rudd) replaced our 25 year old TV. I am by no means a clean freak and I don't have a house that looks like a stylist has been in (again, we had no proper toilet for a year- but more on that another time)..........they also don't have to be things they can be a big old tree, the way the light is coming through the window onto Busy while she is doing a puzzle, or a leaf that is shaped like a heart........but I sometimes wonder if I care too much about beautiful things than is normal. I know some people are more affected by their environment than others and maybe I am just one of those people, but do other people feel like this?
I do have one explanation: I think it has something to do with my job. I work with very troubled people, with very traumatic lives full of disclosures of horrible predators and abuse and ugly stories. I spend my days advocating and for those who can't- so does it not make sense that when I am not at work I want to surround myself with niceness??? pretty things? great clever ideas? nice clothes? good food? beautiful art? lovely books?
Do other people have this affliction?