Feb 27, 2010
Hello, I live in this house with my husband and small child and large dog. You would have seen us hanging around. We are the ones who clean up after you in the morning.
We realise that this house was built smack bang in the middle of your land, for that I apologise profusely. I can appreciate how much this distressed your great great great great great great grandparents and I hope no one sustained any injuries or there was no loss of life. However, perhaps you have not been adequately briefed about the rules of us cohabiting this peice of land together.
See that large piece of forest over there- that 9 acres is ALL yours- you and your family; brothers, sisters, aunties , uncles cousins etc can go hell for leather- we don't go into that bit of bush at all, we are keeping it for all of you and all the other animals to inhabit again so the trees can get big again and the birds can come back- everyone likes it in there its very busy , the wallabies love it. I realise there are probably snakes in there and that makes you and yours nervous but you are quick - I have seen the speed you can move - so I am sure you will be fine....(ahem)
You see the rules clearly state "animals outside"- the large dog is the only animal that we allow inside - so he doesn't chase you guys at night. When you come inside the house it upsets the natural order of things. When you run across the floor mocking us with your speed it is hard to remain open minded about you living with us. When we wake up and discover your droppings on the chopping board we don't like it. When we see that you have had a nibbled 6 different bananas... well... we don't like that either...when you run and hide under the kitchen bench it greatly distresses the large dog as he waits staring at you and waiting for you to come out for HOURS- we cannot protect you against him. He wants you bad. Granted, you are very cute, and god only knows what will happen if Busy clocks eyes on you. You may loose your hearing from the excitement she will show. If she ever gets hold of you she may hug you too hard. You have been warned.
We have left out some nice little tubes for you to hide in from him - there is food in there and if you could just pop into one of those then we can take you outside to join your family. You will not be harmed at all. I am sure your mum is worried about you.
Thanking you in advance for your assistance with this matter,
PS If you even think about going near my sewing room- I will loose all compassion and war will be declared . Thanks.
The traps are humane and will not hurt him/her