Apr 11, 2010

Pincushions and mothering....

One completed pin cushion for the swap ...going to a special secret person some time this week....watch your letterboxes...now I am dying to get mine...check out the flickr group to see more...

AND I have to start on Leonies to see if I can possibly top this. I may need to complete an engineering degree or do a lot of hand sewing to actually get it to work how it looks in my head.... I wonder if it will turn out how I it is in my head? I am going in a completely different direction from what she made me....I should actually probably just start it... rather than drawing little pictures of it in my notebook...its almost like if I start it though...my brilliant idea may not work out and it looks so good in my mind...
I was having one of those 'when-am-I going- to- get- 2 minuntes- to myself- without- being- interuppted-' this weekend... weighing up the concept that maybe trying to work three days a week and run a little business that is getting busier and busier is maybe too much...and is my parenting suffering? Am I going to look back and feel like I missed out on too much?  ( I know only I can answer this). Can I actually think about hiring someone to help me sew? Who is this mysterious person? Will the universe send them to me or do I have to go and find them? 
I struggle with lots of parts of parenting and I am really bad at doing certain things with Busy- like pushing her on the swing - for the hours she would be happy to let me... and I often feel guilty for it... I do make sure that every day I make time to really engage with her, give her my absolute undivided attention, often reading together or laying on her bed talking about life- she makes me laugh out loud at least once a day.... but I often wonder am I doing enough???
The thing I love doing the most with her is our Sunday night "together bath". Lots of water, lots of bubbles and we scrub each others feet and I wash her squidgy little body and I feel like I could not be more content. I could not be happier with my life- seeing her covered in suds and giggleing- really what is better in the world? Could anything else make me this happy? 


  1. Look at that little face- seems to me that's a happy littel child. But i struggle with the same questions. I'm always doing a million things when I'm with the kids, and I worry that i'll look back and wonder why I didn't just slow down and BE... I notice that both grandmothers are excellent at getting down on the floor and just playing for hours.But i wonder whetherthey managed that when the kids were small.

    My new system is trying to actively take 30 minutes out at a time - check the clock, and really be present, playing, until that clock time is up. I am disturbed by the fact that this isn't that easy, and I struggle to do it every day...

    But 'what-if' is part of teh mothering manual I think. Just the fact that you are asking the question 'how can I be a better mum' makes you one. Don't you think?


  2. I'm with you, they are a treasure that bring so much joy & sunshine every day! (minus the tantrums). I think we all feel guilty about whether we've done enough in a day to make our babies happy & content...I think we do, i suppose we'll always think we should have done more...but just look at that happy face, & bath time with mum, a priceless, treasured time...and that's just one, I bet she sees every day as a whole lot of those moments! Good job mama!

  3. It's so hard to live up to our own expectations of perfect parenting.
    I try to remind myself that when they're grown, they'll remember all the love ... and not so much the nagging and disciplining .... that we still have to do.

  4. Sounds (and looks) to me like you are doing a fab job. Love the idea of the Sunday night dinner. I keep reminding myself that it's as important for my kids to see me doing something I love (sewing, crochet, knitting whatever) as it is to sit down with them and play the stuff they love. I'm with the first comment - if you're asking the question, you're already ace!

  5. Oh i meant sunday night "bath" ... perhaps I was thinking of dinner in the bath? ;)

  6. mums & guilt! does it get passed on from one generation to the next.
    I bet most mums get the nagging feeling in their stomach that they just haven't done enough .
    I bet we all do a marvelous job & we should stop doubting ourselves.
    enjoy the giggles & cuddles and all the little bits in between, you sound like a fabulous mum.

  7. I feel the same sometimes (all the time??) Glad to see I'm not the only one. I feel guilty that I want to be doing something else while I'm playing with the kids. Can I sew/knit while watching them on the trampoline, can I look at a craft book while playing lego...always trying to do two things at once.

  8. I feel the guilt too! I have come to realise in the very short time I have been a Mumma that Mother = Guilt. It doesn’t matter how well you do it, there will always be something to find to fell guilty about. Try not to stress; I am sure you are doing a splendid job!!!! That happy healthy little face is all the evidence I need.
    ps the pin cushion look great, I have my fingers crossed that I can get mine finished today.

  9. theres a great book called 'buddhism for mothers' by sarah napthali that addresses such things as 'mothers guilt' very interesting, and helpfull. busy looks like a very happy, very loved girly! good job cath!

  10. Hey Cath. GORGEOUS pincushion.

    I'm full-time at home but often feel like the cruddy parent when I see some of my friends who work being far more deliberate with 'spending quality time' with their kids when I just leave mine to their own devices a lot.(Do working parents have more energy and focus after being away? or is it a need to "make up" for working? why am I so slack? etc etc)

    Go and read this article and have a good laugh and feel less guilty!

  11. "squidgy little body" eeeeeeek. The cuteness!!!!

  12. Love that joyous bath shot, what a happy little chook. I think you are a great & loving mum, your daughter's face shows this! Parenting is a big job, we make mistakes, we don't do it perfectly but we should also be more forgiving of ourselves. That special time with your Busy, whether it's in the bath or wherever, is what matters. Keep up the good work honey, loving your baby is the most important part xo

  13. You know how I know you are an awesome mum? You question what you do and how you do it. And sometimes we do that because we need to change what we are doing, or because we are, indeed, doing the best we can and we just need to remind ourselves that.

    Your doing a fab job! Both as a mother and as a small craft business owner. Well done!! xox

  14. Oh Sweet Thing - it seems you've struck a bit of vein here - look at all the Mummys jumping in!

    Unlike you, I don't have an amazing business that is going from strength to strength, but I do feel as though there aren't enough hours in the day, and I do wonder how other Mums (Super Mums, to me) manage to do the sorts of things that you do, ie run a business, make things, blog about it all & nurture their wee one.

    I have grand ideas about all of the above, but I fear that is all they will ever be, it's that damn Mother Guilt we all have isn't it? I don't think men feel it the same at all - I know mine doesn't, but we are forever second guessing ourselves & worrying & feeling guilty when, really, don't we already have enough on our plates...?

    You are right about being the only one to answer the question "Did I miss out? Did I do enough?", but my dear, I honestly believe that the fact that you are even worried about it means that you are doing all you can right now... and come now, how happy & content is that sweet face?!


  15. Mother guilt is a cruel thing!
    To be a good mum, you do need to do what you enjoy as well. It's important (for me anyway) to have time for myself (other than betwwen 8pm and 1am!).
    Love the pin cushion too.
    Mine is ready to post off today.

  16. Yay, the pin cushion looks ace! Can't wait to see what you create for Leonie.
    So much about parenting is hard and the guilt involved doesn't help. Someone once told me that the first few years of a child's life are about the parents' and the child's survival and I get this. Between caring for them, our relationships with our partners and our own identities, there's a lot to juggle. She looks gorgeous and so happy. I'm sure she thinks you are the best Mum in the world. X

  17. Your pincushion looks fantastic.

    On the topic of parenting I was having a conversation with a woman at the gym the other day as we stood in line for a class... she was telling me about how her children are now 18 and 20 and don't need her anymore. For eighteen years she had given up being herself so that she could devote herself entirely to them. She was confiding in me how she doesn't know who she is and that that coupled with going through menapause is just horrid. Her life is all about finding herself again. I suspect, by her tone, that she resented her children a little bit too for not needing her anymore.
    It struck me, as I felt guilty about dashing off to the gym, that perhaps I was doing the right thing for everyone because I was still finding time for me.
    Busy learns so much from you - including how to balance competing aspects of life. If she becomes a mother one day it will be invaluable to her to know that she doesn't have to be a self-sacficing martyr ... she will have learnt that from you!

  18. I understand totally what you are saying. Thats why I pulled back this year. There is always time for everything else...but the kiddies they do seem to fly away so fast.


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